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Thursday, September 27, 2007

okay everything's just not working right.i've tried talking to him but i guess he didn't wanna talk about it or sth.and im questioning whether he's really telling me the truth.the main purpose of talking to him is to get everything settled but it seems like it's not.he's not cooperating with me.and i dont wanna force him to tell me the truth either.i dont know what else to do.seriously.and i just dont understand.he feels so much for me when we weren't even close.and he just refuse to tell me whatever he feels.it's two diff person when i talk to him and when he writes in his blog.why cant he just tell me the truth?WHY?WHY?WHY?


cheer me;
3:59 PM

Monday, September 24, 2007

seems like the world's crashing down on me.ahh okay maybe not that bad.okay here's an update of my unlucky love life.i've tried to avoid him and this is what i get in return.i'm not blaming anyone here.maybe it was my fault in the first place to talk to him first.well guys i suppose are just pain in the asses yet they are still craved by us girls.ironic but it's reality.how i wish i could be dead now.what with stupid studies not doing me good.maybe my mind has degraded.i couldnt remember facts for bio and chem.freaky shiet.and promos is nxt tuesday.how great.okay lets not digress.i don't want him to have feelings for me so that's why i decided to start being cold towards him.okay that wasn't the best move.but what else can i do?and now he's like blaming me when he didn't even confess anything about his feelings to me.furthermore,it's barely 2 months or so we've known each other.he doesn't even know me.and we've never talked on the phone nor face to face before and yet he confessed in his blog that it was his favourite mistake to love me.what bull crap is this?i have a strong feeling that he is confused with the meaning of infatuation and love.how can you fall for someone so easily in barely than 2 months.he doesn't know me inside out.nothing about me.yet he's confessing love?goddd.okay below is an extract of his blog.enjoy it okay.

Sunday,September 23
haish.i'm walking out.
and i think you didnt realsie it.
cos you don't even care.

the hardest part about dreaming about someone you love is having to wake up.

Friday, September 21
i'm breaking down,FACE DOWN!!!
i see what's going down.
and that's me.
as the lyrics enunciate, STOP PRETENDING!
if you don't like me messaging you,tell me.
don't waste your time, and your money on the sms-es.
it's better if you hurt me now,then getting worse later.
at least let me accept it,yes you're not interested.
at least let me accept it,yes you have someone else.
and at least let me accept it, yes you don't like me.
don't leave me in the dark.
haish..
i'm downcasted,low in spirits.
tell me, do you know how it feels like?
to live in disappointment, with just a few drops of hope.
and it's heart-wrenching
damn it!!

Loving you was my favourite mistake


so how was THAT?
some things which i have to disagree with what he wrote.
i dont have someone else in my life and dont wish to have anytime near.but if fate has it that i will like a guy anytime soon,well i couldn't help it then.hahs.
and yes i know how it feels like to live in disappointment.especially when it comes to love and feelings for the opposite sex.
and IM NOT PRETENDING ANYTHING.it's a clear cut message that yes i don't want to associate with you cos i dont want you to have any feelings for me.but it was too late.it's not worth crying over spilt milk.
well initially i felt bad cos i hurt his feelings.i've never wanted and expected for this to turn out this way.and i'm afraid he will hate me for this incident.i dont want anyone to hate me.i want everyone to be my friends.no hard feelings but i doubt that will become a reality.i suppose once a guy got hurt,they'll never forgive you.oh wells.if this is the fate that i have to face,yes i will face it.even if i need to sacrifice some things.

AND i like this comment posted by anonymous on his blog.
anonymous: love is something you can't force. it exists if fate decides for it to exist. what is important is not giving up. because sincerity can move even a heart of stone.

mus-anonymous: maybe it's fated not to be the way i want it to be. thanks for those wise words though. really appreciate it. and im just wondering, do we know each other?

we'll see if he decides to not give up.well if he doesnt then i would really know that yes it's not just another infatuation but it's love.but if he does,then i guess he's just hopping around.


cheer me;
5:51 PM